April 6th
The Collector (Vivendi)
First-time director Marcus Dunstan, who, until now, has made a living writing movies in the Saw franchise, gives us what I like to call the poor man’s horror film. If only Elvira had been on hand to welcome to the crowd to the theatre. In The Collector, Dunstan basically recreates the Saw movies and I will do my very best to summarize the plot for you. There’s a guy named Arkin (played by Josh Stewart, whoever the hell that is) performing some kind of contract work on some home in the country. At first, I really thought he was an exterminator and people were calling him Orkinâ. How stupid would that have been? But, anywho, this house in the country has a safe inside that protects a rare gemstone. While the family is away on weekend holiday, Arkin plans to break into the house and the safe and steal the gem. But, when he does break into the home, he realizes very quickly that he’s not alone. There’s another “collector” of sorts inside. It’s THE COLLECTOR!! A deranged serial killer who has also targeted the house. In fact, he has shackled the family members in the basement (well, there goes the weekend vacation!), where he is subjecting them to brutal torture. Oh, and I almost forgot, he’s rigged the entire house with Saw-like booby traps that Orkinâ or Arkin has to navigate in order to stay alive and set them free. The Collector is full of sadistic violence and free of intellect. And that’s what ultimately separates the film from Saw. The Saw franchise at least makes you think a little and, consequently, has managed to maintain much of its core audience who comes to the movies anticipating that big twist ending! The Collector had no audience and, if I can help it, never will.
GRADE: F
April 20th
Avatar (Fox)
At press time, James Cameron’s epic special effects extravaganza has grossed roughly 750 million dollars domestically. It was nominated for multiple Academy Awardsâ including Best Picture (which, as you know by now, is a trophy it lost to The Hurt Locker). At this point, it doesn’t matter what anyone says about Avatar. It’s the most successful film in movie history. So, why don’t I get it? To me, James Cameron’s long-awaited follow-up to Titanic is basically about giant Smurfs with tails. While I appreciate Cameron’s vision and his revolutionary special effects, I just have trouble caring about the Na’vi and their plight on the moon they call Pandora. It’s been said that, with Avatar, James Cameron has changed the way we watch movies. I certainly hope not. If Avatar is the future of film, I may actually have to start reading. And it’s all because of a giant Smurf (with a long tail) who speaks with unusual consonant clusters. GRADE: C+
April 20th
The Lovely Bones (Dreamworks)
Peter Jackson is my crack. You can blame The Lord of the Rings. You can blame his masterful take on King Kong. You can even blame 1994’s savage Heavenly Creatures, which features the first big-screen performance by Kate Winslet, who was as great then as she is now. When I hear Jackson’s name, I immediately start slapping at the veins on my forearm and trying to score rocks in dark alleys! I was thrilled when I learned that it was Peter Jackson who would bring to life the film version of Alice Sebold’s novel The Lovely Bones, about a young murdered girl who is trapped in a state of purgatory while her parents cope with loss and try to find her killer. But this is a disappointing mess. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement) is fine as the gone-to-soon Susie Salmon, but Jackson struggles to truly explain that character’s perspective. At times in the film the ghost of this girl seems like a helpless observer, but at other times actually seems to manipulate the living world. Mark Wahlberg, as Susie’s father, is completely out of his depth. His scenes lack the necessary emotional heft. Susan Sarandon’s grandmotherly character is woefully underwritten and she ends up playing “the drunk.” The only real saving grace in the film is the uber-creepy performance by Stanley Tucci. His turn as murderer George Harvey earned him a well-deserved Oscarâ nomination for Best Supporting Actor. But his meaty work in the film isn’t enough to make up for all the bones that are bare. GRADE: C+
April 20th
The Young Victoria (Sony Pictures)
There’s no denying there’s a certain sense of déjà vu in Jean-MarcVallee’s The Young Victoria. One look at the film and it has the touch, the feel of Elizabeth and, even in some ways, the much more contemporary The Queen. But, thanks to a wily performance by Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada, The Wolfman), The Young Victoria still manages to be an engaging study of Royal Family history. Victoria was so young when she assumed the throne, no one thought she was capable of ruling from it. There was so much wrangling for position between the power-players and would-be advisors close to her that Victoria was ultimately pulled away from her people, who began to resent the fact that their country was being ruled by someone so young, green, and impressionable. In fact, Vallee stages his film like an elaborate game of social chess. And it’s quite fun watching Emily Blunt prove that Victoria was no one’s pawn. GRADE: B-
Also due in April:
Crazy Heart (Fox) - Watch Jeff Bridges’ Oscarâ-winning performance as fallen country music star Bad Blake. Due April 27th.
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (Sony) - Terry Gilliam’s mystical adventure features Heath Ledger’s final performance on film. Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell each chipped in to play Ledger’s character after his passing.
Also due April 27th.
