April showers have brought Mayflowers, but the Pilgrims won’t put down them turkey guns …and who could blame them? Turkeys are fierce and dangerous beasts that are capable of causing a very serious infection if they manage to bite you with their blood-sucking beaks of disease and death! I remember it well; it was a clear Mayday (no pun intended) some years back when my cousin Jeb was mauled to death by a savage, bloodthirsty, farm turkey. I can still hear his dying wish: “Avenge me, cousin. Avenge me!” Come third Thursday in November, I will have my revenge! I will look upon that turkey and say, “Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my cousin. Prepare to die!” My name is not really Inigo Montoya, but if the turkey survives or if there are witnesses, the cops will be looking for some “Inigo Montoya” character with a fake Spanish accent. And after that pointless, digressive load of blather, here are your bullet points for the merry, merry month of May.

 

• Casting Crowns – May 3rd @ Mesker

Casting Crowns is the top selling Christian artist out there; their tour came in at #30 overall in Pollstar magazine’s concert pulse list, and they will be at Evansville’s Mesker Amphitheatre on May 3rd. The concert’s purpose does not stop at pure entertainment for the members of Casting Crowns. They are using the notoriety to do what they feel is the Lord’s work, by bringing together children and sponsors through the World Vision child relief organization. Seats are $19.50, $24.50 and $39.50 for the show and can be gotten at all regular Ticketmaster outlets or by calling by (812) 423-7222 in Indiana and (270) 926-6661 in Kentucky. As a way of encouraging more church and organizational groups to come to the show, on tickets purchased through The Centre Box Office, groups of 15 or more will receive 2 free tickets for every 15 purchased tickets! …So what you do is buy 15 tickets, get your two free ones, scalp all the ones you don’t need, and get in free! Just kidding, don’t really do that. Scalping is apparently not illegal in Indiana, but it’s probably not a very ethical way to get in an event for free. Best way to do that is write for News-4U and trade promotional blurbs for free concert passes. So what about it, Casting Crowns? Where are my complimentary tickets?

 

 

• Movin’ Out (Billy Joel’s Broadway Musical) – May 8th @ The Centre

Having already conquered the pop charts and super model Christy Brinkley in his prime, 5-time Grammy man Billy Joel’s maturing age sees him turning to the world of Broadway and winning yet more awards, more acclaim, and probably more groupies than ever before. Opening in 2002, around the same time he started seeking help for his alcoholism, the hit musical Movin’ Out shares the same name as one of his songs from The Stranger album. Look for it on May 8th at The Centre. Tickets are $50, $35 and $20 through The Centre box office. And no, Christy Brinkley will not be at the show …or will she?

 

• Hardin County Country Jamboree feat. Little Texas – May 16th and 17th

Princeton University’s WordNet® 3.0 defines the word “jamboree” to mean “a gay festivity.” (Just thought I’d pass that along. I don’t know about you, but harboring a juvenile sense of humor makes my days go so much faster.) The gaiety will commence in Hardin County, Illinois the weekend of May 16th at the Hog Rock Campground in Cave In Rock. Gates open at 10 a.m. on Friday. Tickets are $30 per person. Children 6-12 get in half price. There will be camping and food vendors all weekend. Revelers are encouraged to bring your own coolers and beer. Showers will be available (because we all know how much we end up stinking when we camp out). There will be plenty of country entertainment to fill both days with acts like Tony Phillips, Jason Jones, Mustang Sally, Marion Deaton (Willie Nelson Tribute), Darren Warren Band, Most Wanted, and more. But the music will culminate on Saturday night with a live performance by Nashville recording artists Little Texas. Call (618) 289-5001 for details or visit www.hogrock.com/jamboree.htm.

 

• Evansville Otters Baseball Season Opener – May 21st thru 23rd @ Bosse Field

“Put me in, coach. I’m ready to play.” May sees the return of the 2006 Frontier League Champion Evansville Otters’ professional baseball season. They will open a three game series at home in the friendly confines of historic Bosse Field May 21st thru 23rd against the Windy City Thunderbolts. Bosse Field is the 3rd oldest and one of the most beautiful baseball stadiums to be found anywhere in the country, and a day at the ballpark doesn’t have to empty out your bank account. Why travel all the way to Cincinnati or St. Louis to see a bunch of steroid-fueled cheats in some overpriced, newfangled, state-of-the-art facility that only adds $20 to your hot dog costs when you can see hungry, up-and-coming athletes right in your own backyard for just $5 general admission? Doesn’t make much sense, does it? If you’re as disgusted with big league baseball as I am these days, go check out an Otters game instead. These guys play twice as hard, and for near minimum wage!