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“Yeah,” I said, trying to be diplomatic, “but how do you know that’s really true and worthy of notation in this way?”

“Whiz… whirr…” he said.

“Hey man,” said I. “You’re not making a whole lot of sense here. I’m sure there have been great advancements in the Pezä dispensing industry, but this is no time to be throwing away a perfectly good candy jar.”

“Bark, bark… rat tat tat tat tat… pop… BOOM!” he exclaimed. He’d brought his friends this time and I could sense they were growing annoyed.

“Well,” I said, “you’ve probably got a point there. I’ll take that into consideration.” (I didn’t really mean it, cause, well, f*ck him, but still, why argue?)

Here are your bullet points for June. And when you see her tell her I want my money!

· Prisoners and Battles of World War II

The Evansville Museum will host a lecture on June 15th by a local WWII vet, Evansville native Charles Huppert, who sounds like to me the most awesome man since Jean Claude Van Damme in Timecop. All kidding aside, this man’s story is the story of “The Great Escape”…yes, the very same “Great Escape” on which the classic 1963 film of the same name was based, starring Steve McQueen, James Garner, Charles Bronson, and James Coburn! The same film that is one of the highest rated films of all time on imdb.com! PBS recently did a television special featuring commentary by Mr. Huppert and others on this “Great Escape,” still, many tri-staters do not realize they have a true-life historical figure walking among them. Hopefully this little blurb does its job and some of you go listen to this man’s intriguing story and maybe shake his hand... if you’re lucky. The lecture is also accompanied by an exhibition featuring items brought back from the war by POWs. The exhibit starts at noon and lasts ‘til closing. This is a must attend event.

A reenactment of the Normand Invasion at the LST 325 at Marina Pointe on the anniversary of D-Day, June 7th. American and German actors from all over the midwest will play out the invasion as it happened on the historic day.

            Also, speaking of World War II and the Evansville Riverfront, there will be a reenactent of Normany Invasion at the LST 325 at Marina Pointe on the anniversary of D-Day, June 7th. American and German actors from all over the midwest will play out the invasion as it happened that historic day. The LST 325 is an amphibious vessel that carried soldiers and cargo ashore during WWII. It is now permanently memorialized at Marina Pointe harbor on the Evansville Riverfront. The reenactment is in its 3rd year and is growing in importance. Last year's event drew a film crew from the History Channel who filmed the action for use in future documentary features. This event is free to the public.

· Movies at Mesker Begin June 20-21

The 2008 Movies at Mesker Amphitheatre season kicks off on June 20th and 21st. If you like the nostalgic, drive-in-theatre sense of watching movies out under the stars, you should check ‘em out. I called SMG (Mesker’s management) for details on what movies they’ll be showing those dates, but as of this writing date, they did not know. I was, however, able to obtain the definitive meaning of life from one Melanie who works in their marketing department, but only on the condition I shared the information with the entire world and not use it in my own selfish and relentless pursuits of power and glory. So, needless to say, I’m not telling. As for the movies showing on the 20th and 21st, I’m sure it’ll be something X-Rated, like Muppets Take Manhattan, or Benji. We’ll just have to wait and see though. Check their website for details: www.smgevansville.com.

· Bard & New Harmony Present Othello... or do they?

If you get a free minute sometime and want to be thoroughly shocked and intrigued, you should Google "Shakespeare Conspiracy," or "Shakespearacy," as I like to call it, and check out the evidence supporting claims that The Bard, a.k.a William Shakespeare of Stratford on Avon, could not have possibly written all the works historically attributed to him. Some of the prevailing theories, which seem to hold quite a bit of water, by the way, (at least I haven't seen any good rebuttals to the core claims) have it that the real authors of the works attriuted to that greatest of all English writers were possibly either Edward deVere, the 17th Earl of Oxford, or a secret group of men led by none other than Frances Bacon, whose "official" writing include such irreplaceable contributions as the modern scientific method. The claims hold that these writings were compiled under the name "William Shakespeare," who was a real man living in Stratford, so that the English could get bragging rights in the long-running rivalry with France, who held that the English and their language were barbarous, and for other political reasons, depending on who you believe. Either way, all that's immaterial to the fact that the plays pretty much kick ass and the New Harmony Theatre is giving performances of Othello throughout the month of June. Check the Arts Guide for dates and more info.

· Someplace Else to host 5^th Annual “Main Street Party – Midwest Pride 2008”

Benefiting AIDS Resource Group, Matthew 25 AIDS Services and Tri-State Alliance, the annual party will feature national entertainment, karaoke, food booths, carnival games, foam parties, HIV prevention education and more. The entertainment will be spearheaded by Jackie Beat, who parodies Britney Spears, Madonna, Cher and other divas’ songs in a one woman cabaret-style comedy show. Jackie’s comedy show has been featured on Comedy Central, VH-1, and MTV, and she has also worked as a writer on the WB’s series “Hype!” and has appeared in such films as Flawless with Robert DeNiro and Wigstock the Movie. The party will take place June 13-15 at Someplace Else Nightclub on Main Street. Visit www.myspace.com/someplaceelseevansville for more.