Comments (Brad Linzy
The dog
days of summer are upon us. Maybe I should run for dogcatcher. Here are your
bulletpoints for August, 2008.
• Classic Cars and
Hot Rods: A Proposal
With gasoline prices at an all time high and even my
dinky 4-cylinder Toyota’s tank feeling parched, it’s hard to imagine trying to
keep some of these classic V-8 monsters of yesteryear going down the road, but
even Mad Max had his Interceptor, and, hell…he was in a post-Apocalyptic
desert-scape where oil and gas were more precious than life itself. So why
wasn’t he driving a Toyota Prius at such a crucial time? Three reasons… 1)
Because the Prius is only for metrosexuals and Mad Max would never go down like
that. 2) The Prius can’t do 0 to 60 in less than two seconds, which is pretty
crucial if leather-clad mutants with 12 gauge shotguns are chasing you. 3)
Trying to get parts to fix those stupid battery arrays and onboard computers
while conforming to a bunch of silly government CAFE standards in the middle of
an apocalyptic wasteland would be a hell of a lot harder than simply adjusting
a carburetor. But I digress…
Surely, there are places
we could gather all these classic automobiles together in so the rest of us,
unfortunate enough to be relegated to driving pitiful 4-bangers, can appreciate
them for the works of engineering and retro art they truly are. Surely there’s
also some way we could make this gathering festive by adding food vendors, a
craft show, and a swap meet, so we could choke down hot dogs and buy t-shirts
that say, “Happiness is a nice Rod,” while we listen to the unmuffled roar of a
400 cubic inch engine guzzling down an entire tank of gas in 6.2 seconds flat!
That gives me an idea… How about
we put this all together out at the 4-H Fairgrounds on Hwy 41 North August
22-24 and call it “Frog Follies?”
Then, what if we got even more street rods together for a
• FREE Movies at
Mesker Passes
Last month, I was left with
a stack of FREE movie passes about two feet high that I have since been forced
to recycle as toilet paper. Do you have any idea how bad a consumer-grade paper
cut feels on your anus? That’s right, you don’t. And you shouldn’t. Nobody
should. But, by God, I love the environment…even if it hurts.
You could have saved those movie
passes (and my poor anus) from such a disgusting, ill-fated fortune, but no…
you chose, instead, to pay your way into Movies at Mesker honestly – through
petty racketeering and mugging people as they took out their trash. Why would
you resort to such humanitarianism when you know full well our News4U offices are located at 4 Chestnut
St., right down on the riverfront, and you can come in any weekday and retrieve
free passes to see August’s Movies at Mesker, which you can, in turn, sell for
a hefty profit? Where’s your entrepreneurial spirit?
PS: You might want to call first
before you just show up to make sure we have the passes already and also to
make sure we’re not still in our underwear or something.
• August
In case
you’re like me and you dig your bluegrass music, you’ll have two opportunities
to get in the bluegrass groove in August. One will be at the 4th
Annual Bluegrass and Barbecue Festival at Angel Mounds on August 2nd.
The other will be at the 23rd Annual Bluegrass in the Park Folklife
Festival in
• Wabash Heritage
Paddle Fest
If the
Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps it’s “nuthin’.” But I
can’t help but point out that as you say that, you are probably sitting on your
bum reading with the air conditioner blasting in your face and TV on in the
background with Judge Judy screams her head off unnecessarily at a poor
Plaintiff in a dog biting case. In fact, I bet the last time you ventured
outdoors was in 1986 when Halley’s Comet passed Earth, and only then because
you thought it was the end of the world.
Well, if you’re interested in
rectifying your agoraphobia and injecting some color back into your
vampire-like visage, you should register to be part of the action. We promise,
you will not be chased down and violated by a family of inbreeds along the way.
This is not the movie Deliverance. (That
was a completely different part of the river.) Here are the details:
What:
Canoe 9.7 Miles from Grayville, IL to New Harmony, IN
When:
August 16 at 7:30 a.m.
Where: Meet
at New Harmony Riverfront to check in and be bussed to Grayville to the drop
zone.
Registration
Deadline: August 14
Registration
Fee: $25
How
to Register: Online at www.usi.edu/paddlefest or call 464-1989
Hardware:
You will need to provide your own canoe, or one will be available for rent at a
cost of $30. See Shopping Guide for more
on where to buy canoes. Your other option (not recommended) is to spend all
day fashioning a canoe from a felled log or wrecked Volkswagen, but by then,
the trip would be over.
• Local Film Maker
Premieres Work
Local filmmaker, Mitch Massie will premiere his new
film The Anathema Report at the Evansville
Civic Theatre on 08-08-08 at 7 p.m. and again at 10:15 p.m. There will be a
pre-show performance by local band Gratis. A film trailer can be found on
YouTube. Search “The Anathema Report.” Parental discretion advised.
• Owensboro Sunset
Series
When the Executive Inn
Rivermont closed back in June, I’m sure many thought, as did I, that the Sunset
Series, which featured FREE outdoor live entertainment every Friday night on
the Owensboro Riverfront, would simply cease. I have since learned that RiverPark
Center has taken up the baton and, armed with a catering service with the
appropriate alcohol license, will finish out the Sunset Series at the Mitch
McConnell Plaza every Friday night thru August 29th. Here is the
schedule of bands:
August 1:
TBA (Probably somebody calling themselves “The Procrastinators”)
August 8:
Stompbox 40
August 15:
Winds of Thor
August 22:
The Beat Daddys
August 29:
The Velvet Bombers
• Ligion at Woody’s
to Benefit CJ’s Bus
August 21st at
Woody's, Maple Jam/Bellum recording artists Ligion will headline a show with
specials guests Sexstone (an acoustic rock band from Dawson Springs), and
Calling Corners from Evansville. Admission is $10 and show starts at 9
p.m. Proceeds will benefit CJ’s Bus, the traveling playground that helps kids
in times of disaster.
