April 4th

Leatherheads (Universal)

George Clooney has been on a roll lately.  In 2006, he won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Syriana.  The same year he was nominated for directing and screenwriting Oscars for the brilliant Good Night and Good Luck.  This year, he was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his work in the modern-day morality play Michael Clayton.  Remember, folks!  This man used to be on The Facts of Life!  Ask yourself, “What has Lisa Whelchel or Mindy Cohn done lately?”  Clooney has truly metamorphosed into Mr. Hollywood.  But I think Mr. Hollywood’s hot streak is in jeopardy with his latest directorial effort Leatherheads.  Clooney stars as Dodge Connolly, a 1920’s professional football captain whose team drafts Carter Rutherford (John Krasinski), a former college star and WWI hero.  As opposed to winning games, Dodge and Carter battle to win the affections of a feisty journalist (Renee Zellweger).  By the time this movie is projected onto a screen near you, it will have been delayed nearly six months.  Trust me!  If the name George Clooney appears in the credits and the movie was delayed about a half the year, there are likely major flags on the play!

April 4th

Shine A Light (Paramount Vantage)

I’m not sure what I think of the concert movie trend.  Young girls and boys forced their parents into the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus:  Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour movie.  It grossed MILLIONS!!  Ah, commerce!  I get it.  Then again, even rabid U2 fans resisted the urge to throw on those blue and red-paneled glasses for U2: 3D.  At press time, that exercise in the bizarre has grossed just over six million dollars.  The latest entry is Shine A Light, which features footage from The Rolling Stones’ A Bigger Bang tour.  The Stones will likely outshine U2 because of one name.  Yes, Oscar winner and legendary director Martin Scorsese filmed the project at New York City‘s Beacon Theater.  Let’s just pray that we won’t have to look at Mick Jagger’s lips in 3D.  I mean, I’ve seen Little Shop of Horrors once.  I’m hauling ass if Mick opens those big flappers and screams, “Feed me, Seymour!”

April 11th

Prom Night (Sony Pictures)

Someone, quick!  Pour a bucket of pig’s blood on me now!  Yes, Carrie had more fun at her prom than Jamie Lee Curtis (as Prom Night’s Kim Hammond) had at hers.  Kim got all gussied up for the big dance then had to watch her friends get systematically picked off by a psychopath.  At least, Carrie got to set the gym on fire telepathically and bolt the doors closed with her eyes.  I have a feeling that I’ll be wishing for similar powers of telepathy when I watch Brittany Snow (Hairspray, John Tucker Must Die) step into Curtis’ role.  Look!  Prom Night was a bust in 1980.  In fact, I didn’t see it, ironically, until my own prom night in 1989.  Yes, at my high school’s after-prom party, we didn’t run from deranged killers. We watched slasher films, Jell-O wrestled and played Black Jack for Monopoly money.  Because today’s Hollywood screenwriters apparently can’t come up with their own ideas, they continue to rob from the existing canon of thrillers.  But the remakes never work!  Yes, I sat through the new versions of Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Fog, The Amityville Horror and Hitcher.  I don’t find it mentally healthy to sit in a stadium seat and wish I was the horny teenager on the chopping block!           

April 11th

Street Kings (Fox Searchlight)

In 2002, I reluctantly entered the movie theater to watch Dark Blue, Kurt Russell’s gritty, corrupt-cop drama set against the backdrop of the Rodney King beating.  I left the theater just as reluctantly because I had been blown away.  In fact, Dark Blue nearly made my Top Ten list that year and was easily an honorable mention.  The film was penned by screenwriter David Ayer, who also scribed 2001’s gritty, corrupt-cop drama Training Day, which also blew me away.  It’s David Ayer who makes Street Kings such an appealing prospect.  Here, he directs and Keanu Reeves stars as Tom Ludlow, an LAPD officer who battles corruption within the force.  I suppose that the suggestion of a corrupt LAPD officer is a cliché these days.  We have Mark Fuhrman (of O.J. Simpson fame) to thank for that.  But movies about them work.  Russell was sensational in Dark Blue.  Denzel Washington won an Oscar playing a corrupt LAPD narcotics detective in Training Day.  David Ayer makes magic with this subject matter.  For my money, he is the Street King!

 
April 25th

Baby Mama (Universal)