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DVD Reviews

Chad Benefield — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:47:53 GMT

April 29th

The Diving Bell and The Butterfly (Miramax)

Julian Schnabel nearly made himself a household name in the United States by directing this French film. He was nominated for an Academy Award, but lost to the Coen brothers (No Country For Old Men). If you ask me, the Academy got it wrong. But what’s new? The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is simply one of the most unbelievable stories I have ever witnessed. What makes it more unbelievable is the fact that it is true. The film tells the story of French Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby, who, at the age of 42, suffers a massive and immobilizing stroke. Physicians determine he has Locked-In Syndrome. He can hear and comprehend; he just cannot move or communicate. That is until his speech therapist, Henriette, guides him through the tedious and exhausting process of communicating with his left eye, the only body part he can move. He can blink it so she wants him to use it. Basically, Henriette recites the letters of the alphabet and Jean-Dominique blinks when she gets to the next letter in the word he’s trying to convey. I know what you’re thinking. That would require insane amounts of patience. Well, consider this . . . Bauby blinked out his entire autobiography, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, and his assistant, Claude, transcribed the whole manuscript. Look! This is amazing. Schnabel shoots much of the movie from Jean-Do’s point of view from his one good eye. The direction is ingenious, the performances are sensational and the film is inspirational. This is a rare MUST SEE! GRADE: B+

April 29th

The Golden Compass (New Line Cinema)

This mystical, and sometimes magical adventure flick is written and directed by Chris Weitz, who gave us 2002’s comedy-drama About a Boy. This endeavor is a far more elaborate undertaking than that Hugh Grant vehicle. In fact, it’s a trilogy that its stars, Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman, committed to before the first installment ever wrapped. The Golden Compass is a Lord-of-the-Rings/Narnia-type effort that achieves only half the results. It’s like Rachel Ray making a meal in 35 or 40 minutes. It slightly disappoints. Lord of the Rings had me hooked. When Part One of that trilogy ended, I couldn’t wait for the next eleven months to zip by so I could see Part Two. (You know a film is a success if it makes you will your life away so you can hurry up and get to the sequel). Excuse the following pun, I didn’t get that same “reading” from The Golden Compass. This story, about a strange phenomenon called “Dust” and a bizarre cult called “The Magisterium” is so complex and weird, I’m just not sure I care what happens next. GRADE: B-

May 6th

Over Her Dead Body (New Line)

What a great idea! Her dead body! Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria stars as Kate, a woman crushed on her wedding day by a gigantic and tacky ice sculpture! Now, don’t feel too badly. She got on my nerves and deserved it. In fact, if I was at the wedding and the ice sculpture hit her, then broke into a thousand bits on the pavement, I would have been the first to scream, “No harm done! Get some fruit flavoring and we’ll make slushies!” Over Her Dead Body is full of juvenile, slapstick comedy and is chock-full of one-trick ponies (Hey! There’s your obligatory Kentucky Derby reference! It is News 4U‘s May edition after all!) Eva Longoria proves that Gabrielle Solis is the only character she can play. Paul Rudd does his tired, one-expression (smug) routine. Lake Bell (whoever the hell that is) is as mechanical as C-3PO. And Jason Biggs reminds us that the only time he was funny was when he was deflowering his mother’s apple pie. Will anyone I know rent this? Over my dead body! GRADE: F

May 20th

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Buena Vista)

The 2007 holiday movie season was full of disappointments. Sweeney Todd made me want shave my face off and Charlie Wilson’s War made me want to strap explosives to my body like an Afghan rebel. If you had tried to convince me that National Treasure was going to be one of the surprises of December, I would have called the white coats and had you carted off for some electroshock therapy. I didn’t care for 2004’s National Treasure at all and I was dreading the sequel like a hernia test. But Book of Secrets is an action-packed delight. Sometimes a good old-fashioned popcorn flick is just what the doctor (or Orville Redenbacher) ordered. And I must mention the glorious Helen Mirren, who stars as Ben Gates’ (Nicolas Cage) mother. Even in a rollicking action flick, she proves she is The Queen. GRADE: B-

Film Previews

Chad Benefield — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:17:37 GMT

May 9th

Speed Racer (Warner Brothers)

Confession time. Have I ever told you that I vomited during The Blair Witch Project? I did. I got horrid motion sickness and had to run out of the theatre to puke. Only, I didn’t make it. I threw up in a trash receptacle inside Theatre 13! Do you know how loud Dr. Pepper is when it hits a trash can full of hollow paper cups? It sounded like a performance of STOMP. I’ll be honest again. I’ve seen the trailers for Speed Racer and they make me nauseous. There’s a disturbing trend in modern cinema and that trend includes hand-held cameras and frenetic action and animated sequences. I loved the Bourne trilogy, but had to keep turning away from the screen so I wouldn’t projectile-vomit like Linda Blair. I liked Cloverfield, but had to pull my hoodie up over my head in case I wretched. Speed Racer looks stylish and ambitious, sports a cast that includes Emile Hirsch, Susan Sarandon and Matthew Fox, and is written and directed by the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix). Those are normally reasons to race and see a movie. I just hope I can watch this one.

May 16th

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (Buena Vista)

I cannot wait! I am as excited as a fraternity boy at a toga party! Talk about pitching a tent! Movie-going hasn’t been the same since The Lord of The Rings: Return of the King exited theatres in early 2004. For me, nothing has achieved that level of fantasy and special effects mastery. There is only one Peter Jackson. But Andrew Adamson is hot on his heels. Adamson directed The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, a solid fantasy full of magical lands, enchanting creatures and seamless special effects. The good news . . . Adamson has returned for the sequel and brought with him the original cast, a cast that includes huge names like Liam Neeson and Tilda Swinton. But that list also includes Georgie Henley, who, as young Lucy Pevensie, gives this movie franchise its wide-eyed wonder.

May 23rd

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Paramount)

I cannot wait! I am as excited as a fraternity boy on keg and funnel night! Can you believe it’s been nearly 20 years since Indiana Jones went on his Last Crusade. Well, he’s taken a Geritol and a couple of swigs from a can of Ensure and he’s back for another. Yes, Harrison Ford, now 65-years-old, suits back up as everyone’s favorite archeologist and whip-wielding college professor. Steven Spielberg directs. Check! Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf and John Hurt are along for the ride. Check, check, check! And they even saved a spot for Karen Allen! Say goodbye to the powdered milk, girl! You’re back in the game! So is Indy. This is going to be a HUGE hit!

May 30th

Sex and the City: The Movie (New Line Cinema)

I cannot wait! I am as excited as Samantha Jones when she sees a UPS guy with a big package! I was a huge fan of the HBO original series about four sassy and sexy women looking for love in New York City. Hail! Hail! The gang’s all here for the big screen edition! And there’s even more good news! Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, who defined sassy in Dreamgirls, joins the cast to play the assistant to relationship columnist Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker). If you’ve been watching the watered-down Sex on TBS, you’ve missed all the fun. You’ve been having safe Sex. See, HBO gave these girls the license to be themselves. They are beautiful, successful, stylish, witty, bawdy and horny. The big screen is going to give already well-established characters even more definition. I personally can’t wait to get me a bladder buster and a box of Butterfinger bites. I’m in the mood for Sex.

CD Reviews

People Who See Sound — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:59:23 GMT

Autistic Daughters
Uneasy Flowers CD (Kranky)

Drifty and sparse, yet melodic indie rock kinda sounds from New Zealand guitarist/vocalist Dean Roberts and his band. Uneasy Flowers blurs the lines between your standard guitar/bass/drums/vocal kinda setup and more bare-bones minimalist construction, much like the wonderful Low and their mellow, shimmering moodiness. Similarly, Roberts' vocals and lyrics are somber and soft-spoken, yet more prominent and focused than in his past work. Uneasy Flowers is a thematic album, with all tracks linked together lyrically. The subject is a character called Rehana, whose path is traced and described as a nomadic and ragged figure with a sort of tragic outlook. Looking for something a little on the sad and lonely side? Autistic Daughters provides the soundtrack, with a nicely subtle air and plenty of rich, gauzy textures.

- Todd Zachritz (3 Stars)

Autechre
Quaristice CD (Warp)

There's plenty of electronic-based acts that attempt to 'humanize' their machines, to coax real emotion from their gadgetry. Well, influential British duo Autechre are not of this mindset, whatsoever. For 15 years now, Rob Brown and Sean Booth have subverted and pushed the limits of (what some would call) 'techno' music into far-out abstractions, damaged beats, and alien soundscapes. Now, after confounding their audiences with the impenetrable algorithmic programming and skittering beats of their 2005 LP Untitled, they return to more, umm, listenable forms of electronica on the 20-track Quaristice. From proto-ambient pieces (the desolate yet lovely--and almost melodic-- 'Notwo') to industrial-like cutups ('Fol3') to blippy, mutant hip-hop ( 'fwzE' ), they cover a lot of ground on this 73-minute monsterpiece. In fact, most of these pieces are relatively short, and all seem to be individual sketches of textures put into sound format. Autechre create and inhabit entirely foreign worlds within their machinery, and this imaginative and quirky blend of styles and disorienting moods is both fun and evocative.

- Todd Zachritz (3 Stars)

Alan Vega –
Station CD (Blast First/Mute)

Wow, the legendary vocalist for NYC hellraisers Suicide is back with a scalding, scathing, and fiery album of fearsome grooves and sharp commentary on his homeland's social and political condition. The ominous knife on the cover says it all. Personally, I think Vega's work with Finnish minimalist electro-noise-sculptors Pan Sonic has been an inspiring move, as tracks like '13 Crosses 16 Blazin' Skulls' (my favorite cut here) are surgically-precise blasts of gut-level analogue rhythms boxes and blistering digital noise, with Vega's invective commentary legibly spoken/shouted on top. This is also a logical and faithful continuation of Vega's classic mid-70's work with Martin Rev as Suicide, all unhinged analogue electronics and madman yelps. In 'Devastated', Vega's proclamation of 'How's the future gonna play out for our kids!' is intense and proves that not all of us turn mellow and wishy-washy with age. 'Psychopatha' is a disturbingly funky urban nightmare set to industrial drums and hypnotic noise. Pretty intense and paranoia-inducing stuff, complete with Vega's raving maniac shouts and mutterings. As dangerous and experimental as anything in Vega's impressive 30-year back catalogue, 'Station' is tuned to the frequency of America circa 2008 A.D., on the edge of socio-economic collapse and growing consumer distrust. Vega's never been so necessary or relevant.

-Todd Zachritz (5 Stars)

Howlin Rain
Magnificent Fiend CD (Birdman/American)

Ethan Miller's other band, Comets On Fire, is pretty well-known in freaky folksy psychedelic circles for their overdriven lysergic space rock. But rather than mine one classic rock avenue, Miller chooses to branch out a bit with his other group, Howlin Rain. Here, he gets to tighten up and write straightforward organic (some would say hydroponic, even) rock "hits" (pun intended), inspired more by late-60's/early 70's-style stoner rock. You know, the kind they used to make before everything went 'metal' or 'punk'. Tight and bluesy, Magnificent Fiend brings to mind a bright Summer day, with the top down, rollin' (hmm, another pun) around town with nothin' better to do. 'Lord Have Mercy' is so groovy it would make the Black Crowes jealous. Yes, this is the real thing. Longhair rock isn't dead, it just went back underground. Howlin Rain are bringing it back up!

- Todd Zachritz (2 Stars)

TV Party Tonight

Fangirl — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:51:33 GMT

Just when you thought it was safe to turn the television set back on, all the really, really bottom of the barrel “reality” shows green lighted in those desperate days of the writers’ strike are hitting the airwaves. Some of them are so unfathomably ill-conceived that I actually totally thought the fake commercial for MILF Island during an episode of 30 Rock a few weeks ago was for real. Even worse, and I loathe to admit it, I considered making an effort to tune in. Gads. Catering to the admittedly unbecoming side of human nature that loves to rubberneck at a train wreck full of strangers, the entertainment industry is presenting us with an unprecedented level of painfully awful crap to watch instead of having to interact in the real world with our families and friends. And I’m on it.

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Secret Talents of the Stars- CBS

Too late! If you missed this 'black eye' of reality, your're too late. It was canned after one episode and the website was promptly disabled. Back to the drawing board for CBS...

Did you miss this celebrity/bizarro world version of the competition show America’s Got Talent? Well, you’ll have to hit it on their website while you still can because it was so awful, and PLEASE take a moment to contemplate exactly what that means in the realm of “reality” television, that it was canned after airing only ONE episode! A new King of Crap TV ascends to the throne! Hosted by the multi-talented dancer/actor/robot/televangelist doppleganger John O’HURL-ey and judged by a couple of useless tools and poor, poor Debbie Reynolds, (Someone please bitch-slap her agent!), this show set out to show celebrities doing something unexpected and different than what made them famous. A few “stars” I never heard of did boring stuff; some lady ice skater that I totally thought was going to be Borat because she stole his name, performed as a contortionist. Seriously. Country singer Clint Black, (Who I am pretty sure is also a robot, but can’t be positive because it is the hair that gives them away and he always has that damn hat on.) did stand-up comedy. He was actually good enough to join up with the next Blue Collar Comedy Tour, but that’s not really my kind of funny, you know? He seemed to have a problem shutting it off while the judges made their comments too. More evidence of animatronics intervention methinks. Then there was the beloved George Takei singing Willie Nelson’s country hit “On The Road Again.” Just those words all put together in a sentence sound so wrong. And it was. But he good-naturedly soldiered right on through it. It must have taken nearly as much guts as coming out did. Would someone please get this man a dignified series (They already killed him off in Heroes) so he can stop making the rounds of these insipid comi-tragedies? Just be glad it was cancelled so swiftly cause the next episode up featured Danny Bonaduce on a unicycle. I guess ole Danny-boy will just have to save it for the next Circus of the Stars.

Your Momma Don’t Dance-Lifetime

Ugh. I threw up a little in my mouth when I first saw clips from this show where aspiring dancers are partnered with one of their parents in a competition to see who can disgust me the most. They sell those little incest magazines at the porn stores, don’t they? Can we leave it there? Do we really need to be made to feel this uncomfortable by blood relatives bumping and grinding all over one another in sexy outfits on national television? Lifetime, you’ve made me feel so many emotions…but this? This from The Estrogen Channel? I mean Gay, Straight, or Taken was pushing it, but this is just too far. I would rather watch According to Jim.

Parking Wars-A&E

I can’t believe that a show where a camera crew follows the Philadelphia Parking Authority employees on their rounds booting or towing cars and issuing parking citations is already almost through its first season. Nothing major really seems to ever occur. Sure, people get irate, but it’s sort of a Cops light, where most folks are mercifully always wearing shirts. In fact, it is so lame that it almost transcends into awesomeness somehow. Almost. My two favorite characters are Steve “Garfield” the food and cat obsessed boot man, who lists Bad Religion as his favorite band on the PW website (!!) and seemingly unflappable Brian from the ticketing crew; mostly because I think it is inevitable that he will one day come completely unglued during a confrontation with an offender. I just get this vibe that when he Hulks-out, it’ll be delightfully shocking and especially spectacular. The results of which may even change the phrase from “going postal,” to “going parking authority.” If only they would step it up a notch, maybe with a sex scandal or a stabbing for the season finale cliffhanger, they just might keep me watching.

Fashion Forward

Katie Blair — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:23:47 GMT

Sex and the City Style

Sex and the City is a groundbreaking show that taught us all a thing or two about fashion, friends, and relationships. After years of on again, off again news that a movie based on the series is in the works, it has finally been realized! To celebrate the May 30th premier of Sex and the City: The Movie, here is a guide for dressing like your favorite fabulous character.

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Carrie Bradshaw

Carrie is the most daring, bold, and fashion-forward of the group. She's always pushing the envelope in impractical designer duds that only she can pull off with poise and confidence. Bite her style by selecting whimsical clothing in attention-grabbing prints. As a "Carrie" fashion rule, once you think your outfit is complete, add something – whether it's an oversized brooch, layered necklaces, or a mens’ necktie. This multi print chiffon dress by Miss Me provides a sold foundation for a "Carrie" outfit (District, $86.) But don't stop there! Add this quirky headpiece, ($28, Spree Boutique) trendy gladiator stilettos, (Carlos Santana, $99) unique clutch, and you're off to inspire women's fashion sense everywhere!

Charlotte York/MacDougal/Goldenblatt

Feminine, methodical fashion encompasses Charlotte's character style. This chic Park AvenueCharlotte's panache for all things romantic (District, $78.) muse is guaranteed to flaunt a look that is polished and elegant whether she's attending a black-tie event or cleaning the house. Remember to shop for clothing with girlie touches like floral motifs, subtle ruffles, and pastels. This "Belinda Dress" by Soundgirl perfectly embodies

Samantha Jones

This high-powered, fearless sex kitten wants to show you what she's working with, both physically and intellectually. Whether she's flaunting a form fitting power suit by day, or a plunging, skin-tight halter dress by night, she'll demand all eyes on her. The trick when interpreting Samantha's style is to look aggressive, but not cheap. This yellow keyhole dress (District, $49) flashes just enough skin to be sexy and serious at the same time.

Miranda Hobbes

Miranda's style is smart, sexy, and practical. Although she's often overshadowed by the fashion of her cast mates, the truth is, Miranda holds her own! You're sure to find a Jean Paul Gaultier lingerie-inspired top underneath her conservative, yet flawless blazer. Miranda doesn't shy away from showing a little skin once the sun goes down, and you can bet she will always be sleekly accessorized. Pairing this curve-hugging silver pencil skirt with a corseted top to show Miranda's sensual side, but adding a sheer cardigan proves she's also realistic.

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Still need more fashion inspiration? Be sure to attend The Ahh Spa and District's Sex and the City movie premier event at Blush Ultralounge on Friday May 30th. We'll be celebrating all things Sex and the City with a fashion show and team trivia challenge inspired by the series, seriously fabulous giveaways, Cosmo specials, and ultra-pampering spa treatments by the Ahh Spa. Call (812) 401-7777 for more details.

TV Party Tonight

Fangirl — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:35:03 GMT

I don’t want to get into a shame spiral here, but there are a lot of things I am ashamed of. Once when I was in elementary school, I had some gerbils that I forgot to feed for a few days and when I finally checked on them, well, let’s just say they HAD eaten. Jeff Dahmer-style. Also, during the middle school era, I wantonly killed a bird with a BB gun. I thought it might be fun, but it was a horrible feeling. Just horrible. Then there were the high school years, and well, even though all those cases are settled, I am still legally not able to discuss most of that entire four year period. All these things were just sickening indictments of the kind of person I am, but no one could have predicted this most recent shocking lapse of judgment: I am utterly mortified to admit that I did not watch one single episode of Lost until it was well into the third season. How? Why? WTF? All questions I have asked myself. Believe me. I mean, I’m a professional television watcher for crap’s sake. There’s no good excuse. Period.

If you are still reading, then perhaps you feel you can somehow forgive me. Thanks. In an attempt to rectify this most recent humiliating transgression against humanity, I will dedicate this month’s entire column to mankind’s favorite group of island bound characters since Gilligan and The Skipper. I guess deep down inside somewhere, I thought I could resist what has become one of the most uber –addictive shows on the air right now. You know, Captain Kirk-style, using sheer magnum will power. I fancied that I could simply somehow just not watch. Heh. On the plus side, my sort-lived resistance earned me the distinct pleasure of watching all the episodes of seasons one and two back to back with no commercials on DVD. And brother, that was tasty.

So let’s dive in, what is so great about this show? (Besides Sayid, who can torture me anytime.) First of all, I love all the crazy surreal smoke monster/polar bear/disappearing cabin/Jacob/four-toed statue/paranormal baby/unhinged in time mysteries. Very eclectic weirdness abounds on the island and they manage to keep some of the threads together just enough that it works for the most part. In another coup, the writers have really managed to get you deeply invested in every member of the ensemble cast, even fringe folks like Rose and Bernard. And almost unbelievably, while they managed to hook everyone with the Jack, Kate, Sawyer love triangle and the Claire/Charlie romantical drama right from the start, they have actually successfully introduced a newer romance that seems to have become the central story of the show now, that of Desmond and Penny. The Lost geeks or Losties, who are interestingly mostly male if the Ain’t It Cool News chatrooms are any indicator, are not holding back their emotions at all for these two. When they finally reunite, (As they inevitably must, right?) the episode should be called, “When Dudes Cry” and be sponsored by Kleenex because there will not be a dry eye in, uh, cyberspace.

Speaking of the internet, Lost definitely isn’t just for your TV. Google shows over 1 million results for the query “Lost television show” and one of the absolute best is www.lostpedia.com which is a ridiculously comprehensive and surely unprecedented site covering every imaginable aspect of the show. The other is one of the funniest parody (or is it?) sites I have seen since The Onion, themisfitishere.blogspot.com. Go there now! Now!

On the downside though, I have been consistently confused and annoyed by the repeated use of flash forward and flash back scenarios on the show. I am just not smart enough to figure out which is which sometimes. Thank goodness ABC started showing Lost for Dummies episodes! Brilliant! Airing just before the new episode, they show the previous week’s episode with little pop-ups that explain a lot. Seriously. I was keeping up okay before, but now it flows a little smoother for me. Another major bummer is that Charlie died, and that just wasn’t cool. And maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I get a vibe that the show is going to end Dallas-style, revealing that everything that has happened was just some hallucination by an institutionalized Hurley! Hopefully the writers realize that kind of cop-out would cause riots in the streets.

With a predetermined ending time already set for the show (2010), I predict this one will go down in television history as one of the best and most intricately plotted scenarios ever to play out completely effectively. Unlike another great enigmatic series that was a contender, the X-Files, which was pretty solid until Duchovny dropped out and (let’s be honest) the show became so complicated that they obviously just started making stuff up as they went along. If you haven’t started watching Lost yet, you’re missing out on something that has transcended genre and medium and become so much more than just the sum of its parts. Here’s hoping they can bring it all the way home!

CD Reviews

People Who See Sound — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:26:15 GMT

Kone

Cirrhotic Psychotic

(The Record Company)

California-based multi-instrumentalist Phil Western is probably best known as half of experimental electronica groups Download and Plateau. But on this solo recording, Western more than proves that his prowess as a programmer and composer may even surpass these better-known, critically-acclaimed projects. Kone's premise is music created with only a simple setup of primitive electronic gear - a kind of no frills, balls-out approach to techno, you might say. And with such tight grooves as the almost acidic 'Movies On My House,' this idea works quite well. Recalling the robotic demeanor of Kraftwerk, and gene-splicing in some glitchy, minimalist funk by way of Detroit, these crisp and accessible tracks thump and sizzle, while also summoning some nicely ambient textures along the way (as on the lovely retro-stylings of 'Terrible News').

'Mound (Fully Conscious Mix)' is a jagged and noisy eardrum-rattler that pummels like prime Aphex Twin, and similarly, 'Whoa War Wow,' like most of this recording, is actually too manic for most dance floors. Consider it prime electronic listening music for those with a hankering for something more, eh, corrosive. A really fine recording here, and respect to Mr. Western on a job well-done, indeed.

- Todd Zachritz (4 gtrs)

Plastic Crimewave Sound

No Wonderland

(Prophase Music)

Reissued from an apparently quite rare mammoth double-LP, this well-stuffed CD revisits a wild and woolly psychedelische-kraut monsterpiece from this Chicago collective. Gathering their farthest out-there guitar drones, noisy garage riffs, and freak-space-punk jams, PCS harvest a rich and deeply visceral strain of darkly-lit stoner head music. If names like Can, Acid Mothers Temple, Amon Duul, or Hawkwind mean anything to you, then this groovy set of tunes will easily satisfy. Guest appearances by new-jack hippie-folksters like Devendra Banhart or Josephine Foster are token, but the real meat and potatoes here are the long, enveloping motorik fuzz-jams that demand head-nodding and suggest some rather wicked altered states. Primal, powerful, and trance-inducing, 'No Wonderland' is a real triumph for you "heads."

- Todd Zachritz

(4 gtrs)

Spring Heel Jack

Songs And Themes

(Thirsty Ear)

The UK duo of Ashley Wales and John Coxon have undergone quite a rebirth and, indeed, a near-total re-invention in recent years. Depending on your tolerance for out-jazz and avante garde improv, this can be seen as either a good or a bad thing. Taking their initial (jungle electronica) roots into account, I'd say it's quite a monolithic progression. Enlisting the assistance of esteemed instrumentalists like trumpeter Roy Campbell, Jr. and guitarist Jason Spaceman (Spiritualized), 'Songs And Themes' is a masterful sort of ambient jazz, highly organic in sound, but augmented with a subtle touch of sampling and electronic effects. Noteworthy are the classy string/brass overplay on 'At Long Last', or the dissonant skronk of 'Antiphon.' There's beauty and lush melodicism running all through the album, and an artery of dark noise that filters through now and again.

Topping it all off, 'Garlands' is a powerful and sinister post-industrial take on a timeless seasonal theme. Simultaneously encompassing sounds both lovely and bent, 'Songs And Themes' is a masterstroke.

- Todd Zachritz (5 gtrs)

Tad

Busted Circuits And Ringing Ears

(MVD Visual)

The life and times of the grunge-era Seattle band once deemed “too ugly for MTV” is revisited here in a sympathetic and thoroughly well-produced documentary. Thankfully, input from the band is included, and fellow period scenesters like members of Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Mudhoney all contribute their thoughts and reflections on Tad's 'heavier than God' sound. The band's rise on the influential Sub Pop Records label in the late 80s is detailed here, as is the major label courting that inevitably came and contributed to the band's quiet demise. From the best of times to the worst, these grizzled rockers rode the Seattle grunge wave and subsequently imploded through a series of bad business choices, drug addiction, and personal strife. Amidst this all, some rather classic noise-addled rock excesses were produced, and this DVD is a definitive look at one of the more interesting Northwest acts of the era. The inclusion of Tad's promo videos is an added bonus.

Essential for fans, and pretty interesting even for those merely curious.

- Rob Wickett (3 gtrs)

Ministry

Cover Up

(13^th Planet)

Being a bit of a conspiracy (i.e. sad but true reality) buff myself, I was disappointed to learn that Al Jourgensen may be permanently abandoning his 28-year-long, New-World-Order-exposing pet project, Ministry, for the greener pastures of producing, collaborating, and running his “13^th Planet” record label. If this is true, and he doesn’t decide to go on one of those permanent “farewell” tours, then Cover Up, a collection of cover tunes spanning the 8-track and vinyl era, may end up being Ministry’s swan song. Kind of a sour note to go out on, in my humble opinion – banging out a series of cramped and muddled tracks like a monkey on a gong. If this were the final exam on in a rudimentary music production course it might, might be excusable, but for someone pretending to be a rock star, it’s pretty sorry .

I must admit that I’ve never been much of a fan of industrial music, mainly because I actually like the sound of real people playing a set of skins over some sampler that throws kick drums at an inhuman, hundred-thousand beats-per-minute, and I know what compression is for, and I understand the importance of an interesting bassline that doesn’t just blubber over the track to fill space, but even by that standard, I can safely say that for my money there is almost nothing redeemable about this collection other than track 69, a novelty cover of “What a Wonderful World,” which signals the end of the CD. Too bad this is his last album, Jourgensen can’t redeem himself. –Brad Linzy (2 gtrs)

Amelia

A Long, Lovely List of Repairs

(Slow Down)

Amelia is a Portland-based quartet whose third offering, A Long, Lovely List of Repairs, is a breath of fresh air in the dim, smoky speakeasy of contemporary music. One of the first indications for me that this might be a record worth more than a passing listen is the short list of instruments played. Besides all the usual suspects, guitar, bass, and drums, this stunning record also features bass harmonica, glockenspiel, marxaphone, upright bass, autoharp, pump organ, celeste, timpani, violin, trumpet violin, and clarinet. With languid, lumbering tempos, a moody sense of melody, and blues/jazz ruminations that bind the ears with a soft spell of Americana, Amelia drag the limbless listener by the collar through cabaret corridors and dingy country saloons to a place where the wood of acoustic instruments resonates with stunning realness and beauty, and the resulting aural portrait cannot be pasted with labels like “jazz,” “blues,” or “country” without the simple but enlightened townsfolk scoffing at them as completely meaningless.

Much like the sultry-voiced Norah Jones, the vocals of Teisha Helgerson are warm and angelic, vaguely sensual, but wholly innocent and longing. The instrumentation is tasteful and in-the-pocket. No unnecessary solos or gaudy, show-off vocals on this record, just pure, soulful tunes that sound like distilled poetry. In closing, this is an album to be absorbed and digested while you long for a simpler time when a good song still meant something. One of the best of 2008 so far. – Brad Linzy (5 gtrs)

Rachel Taylor Brown

Half Hours with the Lower Creatures

(Cutthroat Pop)

The album opens with the ringing of telephones and the sparse sound of humming female voices. Wind chimes and a lonely oboe softly converse in the background. The track drones on and on for an almost unbearable 7 minutes, anesthetizing the mind, prepping it for a surgical assault of the senses that is to come. Shards of song hurdle toward us like soft shrapnel as we take a Beatlesque mystery tour into a highly creative musical mind. Snarling guitars snake atop billowy beds of piano and orchestration in a labyrinth of shape-shifting musical parcels that circulate in search of a home. Recalling the experimental cut-and-paste style of Brian Wilson’s Smiley Smile the album bobs and weaves about like a kite in a stiff breeze, alternately diving and soaring before building into an explosive orgy of sound. Who says a verse or a chorus is necessary in songwriting? Certainly not Rachel Taylor Brown. Many of the songs on Lower Creatures are stream of consciousness, moseying along in this direction or that upon a whim. It is as if Brown says to herself, “I wonder what’s over here…” and then records the discovery on tape for posterity.

Much of the lyrical content pokes sardonic fun at the absurdity of human logic, particularly our penchant for hurting the things we most love. In “Abraham and Issac” Brown wonders if Abraham must have told Issac, “I couldn’t have a better son. I love you, so I‘m killing you today. You always hurt the one you love, and I love you, so I’m killing you today.”

Less of a political statement than a sorrowful lament on the cyclic stupidity of the human animal, “Another Dead Soldier in Fallujah” paints a heartbreaking portrait of a mother whose son has been lost in battle. With just a solo piano and vocal Brown gives us a voyeur’s glimpse of how empty it must make a mother feel deep down to lose her boy in this way.

In “Vireo,” a 6+ minute xanax pill of a song, the album starts to lumber toward its obscure conclusion. Like a child who discovers a sound she likes, Brown immerses herself and the listener in a seemingly unending loop of chords and melody as if to create a musical cocoon in which to hide away from a world too ugly to bear. This record will definitely see more spins in my CD player. – Brad Linzy (5 gtrs)

Moreland & Arbuckle

1861

(NorthernBlues Music)

From the gritty opening resonator notes of Theodore Taylor’s “Gonna Send Ya Back to Georgia,” you know this ain’t your typical commercial blues record. First off, these guys’ record label is from Canada and they are from Kansas. Neither exactly known for being havens of the blues, but they seem to like it in Kansas, at least – enough, in fact to dedicate the album to the state they call home (Kansas became a state in the year 1861). No harm in that. Neither is there any harm in putting out a solid blues record, which is exactly what they’ve done here in spite of the “less-than-blues-authentic” bio. The production is excellent – not overdone – just raw and gritty enough to move the guts down low. The Dobro is dirty and biting, the way a Dobro should be. The harmonica is driven and growling, the way blues harp should be. The vocals are deep and soulful, the way good blues vocals should be. Everything seems to be in it’s place, even a decent mix of good classic blues songs and originals. Lovers of delta and Chicago blues alike will find something worth listening to here. Solid performances. – Brad Linzy (3 gtrs)

Beer Reviews

Misc. — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:15:40 GMT

It’s April and time to enjoy “patio weather!” We have chosen some beers that are sure to delight and disappoint; dull your senses and drive you nuts; some you’ll drink and some you’ll… flush down de’ toilet. Bon Bière!

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Landshark: Anhueser Busch

Brad: 3

This beer makes me want to sit down in front of a baseball game with a mess of buffalo wings and vegetate. Consistent color and the flavor is very well suited to repeated visits, but all-in-all nothing special here, just a solid lager.

Todd Zacharitz: 2

A very light and amicable (even familiar) lager that really begs for an infusion of lemon or lime to give it some body.

Sharon: 4

Light yellow color with a light beer taste; a little fizzy. Taste is a little weak. My two gal pals, Jesse & Chrissy, sitting at the table with me say they love it and it’s a perfect chick beer. Would be refreshing on a hot summer's day, and a good beer for Corona fans.

Rachel: 5
Mmm, tastes very much the same as Corona...break out some limes for this one!! Making me ready for summer. Jimmy Buffett is a smart man...he decided...hmm, I love Corona, I'll just add a beer company to my gigantic Margaritaville empire...no need supporting another beer company when you can just start your own right? Man, I want to be Jimmy Buffett.

Pandora’s Bock: Elysian Brewing Co.

Brad: 4

Just a hint of soapiness in the hops on the end, but other than that, a pretty tasty brew. I think I may have had this last time I was in Colorado because the taste is awful familiar and is making me nostalgic.

Todd Zacharitz: 3

With a strong, rich, and characteristically sweet, malty presence, the red-toned Pandora's Bock (clever, hah) is hearty and palatable. A strong showing and a well-rounded beer.

Sharon: 5

Yummy smell. It’s got good flavor. Bold Start but hardly any after taste. Leaves my tongue a little dry.

Rachel: 4
Very good; great light taste and no aftertaste. Overall, a great beer!

Ol’ Woody Pale: Mad Anthony’s

Brad: 2

Get past the initial shock of the hops and it’s not all that bad, but it still tastes too much like a bunch of hops added to a watered-down brew to me. It’s like there’s no meat, no body in this. My wife sampled it and said it tasted like Windex sprayed out of a camel’s vagina, but she’s just weird.

Todd Zacharitz: 1

A strong and pretty nondescript pale ale, this hoppy brew is nippy, sour, and even feels kinda acidic. Or that could be the home-made soft-shells I made tonight. Regardless, not a favorite here.

Sharon: 2

Medium brown color, looks like it’s unfiltered. Smells earthy… kinda flowery and kinda woodsy. Awful, gal pals say it tastes like Assh**e. I have to agree.

Rachel: 3
Pretty good! Good overall taste. A little too stout for me though.

Blueberry Stout: Dark Horse Tres Brewing Co.

Brad: 1

The initial burst of taste seems promising, but soon it morphs into something resembling a cocktail of cough medicine and licorice sticks. It literally stings the tongue, and I have timed this sensation to appear exactly 4.9 seconds after the initial drink. It has been the subject of many minutes of repeated experiments and although I might well stay amused with this playful exploration well into the evening, it still wouldn’t rescue this brew from the dregs of beerdom.

Todd Zacharitz: 5

Wow, this is an inventive beer. It's definitely a stout - deeply opaque and completely blackened. The berry presence is omnipresent in the odor, and the taste is deep and rich, with a nicely-tailored hint of blueberry to complement the burnt sweetness. Superb, and unlike anything I've tasted before.

Sharon: 1

I have to say that this is the worst stout I’ve ever tasted. Smells like flavored schnapps. Tastes and smells like its high in alcohol content (label doesn’t say). Looks like soy sauce. Guy pal, Ross, says it smells like his grandpa’s foot. Not a one of us would finish it. Not even on a dare.

Rachel: 1
Ughh, Not good at all. Way too stout, nice hint of blueberry though.

Amber Ale: Upland Brewing Co.

Brad: 5

No strange aftertastes, no hopped-up misalignment of flavor, just a darn good, full bodied beer that is very well balanced and enjoyable to drink. This is just about as close to ale perfection as it gets on these shores.

Todd Zacharitz: 4

Solid, well-balanced blend of malt and hops, and an unusual taste that's almost woody, but still relatively sweet and light. Enjoyable and different.

Sharon: 3

Smells like potatoes. Dark red in color. Has a sorta Carmel taste at first – but man, is the after taste awful & sticks to your tongue.

Rachel: 2
Not too bad, a little to strong of an aftertaste, but Upland beers are overall pretty good.

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District: Fashion Forward

Katie Blair — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:54:18 GMT

BROKE AND FABULOUS

Chances are you're feeling some effects of a slowed economy, and with gas
prices expected to hit the $4 mark, it's time to start stretching your money and tightening your belt! Here are some ways to stay fabulous on a budget.

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1. Think of different ways to wear the clothes you have

A little creativity is all you need to get more out of your clothing. By itself, this colorful mini-dress is adorable, (District, $52) but once you tuck it into jeans and add a jacket, it takes on a whole new meaning. If you aren't the creative type, I suggest tearing out pictures of outfits from magazines. Tape them up next to your closet as a reference point and try duplicating them with pieces from your own wardrobe. Re-organizing you closet will also help you brainstorm when it’s time to think outside the box. Group like items together (all tunics hung together, etc.) and have your accessories neatly organized close to your clothing so you won't forget to add a belt or put on a cute hat for a fresh look.

2. A little TLC goes a long way

You've put a little mileage on your wears and it's starting to show, but that's no reason to throw them in the Goodwill bin just yet! Make your shoes last longer by having them re-heeled. Local shoe repair shops can replace tips on broken heels for just a few bucks. It only takes a couple of minutes and almost zero talent to sew a few stitches here and there, so a detached button is no cause for throwing those pants in the bottom drawer, never to be worn again. You can also make you clothes last longer by properly following care instructions and avoiding the dryer if possible. Even on low heat settings, dryers strip away at your clothes over time. All that stuff you see in the lint trap used to be part of your shirt! To optimize the life of your clothing, hang them out to dry. (You'll also be doing Mother Nature a favor by consuming less energy.)

3. Layaway

If a store offers layaway, take advantage! Layaway plans are a great budgeting tool because they typically have minimal or no fees, making it less expensive than paying interest and carrying a balance on a credit card if you can't pay the total price up front.

4. Join store mailing/emailing lists

This is a great way to get insider info and have access to special deals. District, for example, let's customers know ahead of time when sales are going on, and regularly sends out gift certificates and coupons.

5. Hold a swap meet

If you're like most fashionistas, you'll probably retire that super-trendy frock once you've made a few appearances in it. Instead, have the girls over for a clothes-swapping party to refresh everyone's wardrobe for free! If you still can't stomach the thought of giving away your precious garments, put a time limit on the clothes swap, say two weeks, so they are merely borrowing them instead. Get all the details you need for hosting your own clothes swapping party at www.wikihow.com/Hold-a-Fashion-Swap-Party.

DVD Reviews

Chad Benefield — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:27:13 GMT

April 1st

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (DreamWorks)

I’ll admit it. I have never been a Tim Burton fan. For my taste, everything he does is just too darn dark, thematically and aesthetically. That said, I couldn’t wait to see his take on the classic Stephen Sondheim musical because Sweeney Todd demands a morbid vision. Unfortunately for Burton, it also demands highly-skilled vocalists and no one in his cast can sing. It is beyond my comprehension why any director would cast a musical with actors and actresses who aren’t musical. Johnny Depp, as Benjamin Barker/Sweeney Todd, gets away with a modest voice because he makes up for it with ferocious psychosis. Helena Bonham Carter gives Mrs. Lovett an ample speaking voice, but doesn’t have the training to supply the character’s delicious singing voice. And Alan Rickman, as the evil Judge Turpin, musters his trademark growl, but ends up sounding, in song, like a Barry White-wannabe. GRADE: C

April 8th

Lions For Lambs (MGM)

Selling movies about the war in the Middle East is about as difficult as selling used underwear. No one’s buying. I actually appreciate the fact that folks in Hollywood have something to say about the current state of affairs and I’ll grab my notebook and go listen. And that’s precisely what you have to do in director Robert Redford’s esoteric Lions For Lambs. You have to listen. In his screenplay for the offensively one-sided The Kingdom, writer Matthew Michael Carnahan was content to just blow things up! Here, he trades explosions for rhetoric and Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep and Redford are on hand to spew it and argue sides. My only problem with this film is that it’s just to clinical, textbook and scholastic. Whether you agree or disagree with its message, Lions For Lambs has a lot to say. Unfortunately, there’s just not a lot to feel.
GRADE: B-

April 15th

There Will Be Blood (Paramount Vantage)

Go to Dairy Queen. Buy a milkshake. Stick a straw in it. Then, with all the strength in your jaws, suck it dry. If you perform this simple task, you will achieve two things. Number one, you will understand the film’s underlying metaphor about drilling for oil and pipelining the crude out of the communities that supply it, thereby leaving them bankrupt morally and financially. Number two, you’ll have brain freeze and you’ll be exhausted. The kudos for this project have left me nonplussed. Every single thing about Paul Thomas Anderson’s update of Upton Sinclair’s Oil! is over-the-top. The biggest culprit is the Oscar winner. Daniel Day-Lewis chews the scenery like a hyena gutting a gazelle carcass. I will never understand how that man walked away with an Academy Award for this movie! Oh, wait. The Academy gave one to Halle Berry for Monster’s Ball, didn’t it? Nevermind!
GRADE: C

April 15^th

Juno (Fox Searchlight)

Simply put! The best comedy of 2007 and, for me, the 6^th best movie of last year. Ellen Page shines as Juno, a derisively witty 16-year-old who accidentally gets pregnant by her geeky best friend, Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera). Sure, Juno did something stupid and careless, but she handles the crisis with all the aplomb of a practical, rational adult woman. Stripper-turned-screenwriter Diablo Cody snagged an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay for Juno and deserved every ounce of Oscar gold. Juno is insanely clever, laugh-out-loud funny and, ultimately, touching. Let’s hear it for unplanned parenthood!
GRADE: A-

April 15th

In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Freestyle)

Jason Statham has been in a really good movie this year. THIS ISN‘T IT! Here, he stars as a man named Farmer, who, following the murder of his young son, teams with King Konreid to battle an evil army of Krugs. Now, cue the laugh track! King Konreid is played by Burt Reynolds! Oh my god!! Is my side hurting because I’m laughing so hard or did my appendix just rupture? Wait! I’m not being fair to Burt. If it’s any consolation, the rest of the cast (Claire Forlani, Leelee Sobieski, Matthew Lillard) sucks eggs too. In fact, as the villain Gallian, Ray Liotta (more laugh track, please) utters some of the most ridiculous dialogue I have ever heard. Actually, this movie is a little sad. It’s one of those films that makes you feel pity on the celebrities in it. And, yes, I purposely used the word “celebrities” instead of the word “actors.” There IS a difference and sometimes it’s painfully apparent.
GRADE: F

Film Previews

Chad Benefield — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:25:36 GMT

April 4th

Leatherheads (Universal)

George Clooney has been on a roll lately. In 2006, he won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Syriana. The same year he was nominated for directing and screenwriting Oscars for the brilliant Good Night and Good Luck. This year, he was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his work in the modern-day morality play Michael Clayton. Remember, folks! This man used to be on The Facts of Life! Ask yourself, “What has Lisa Whelchel or Mindy Cohn done lately?” Clooney has truly metamorphosed into Mr. Hollywood. But I think Mr. Hollywood’s hot streak is in jeopardy with his latest directorial effort Leatherheads. Clooney stars as Dodge Connolly, a 1920’s professional football captain whose team drafts Carter Rutherford (John Krasinski), a former college star and WWI hero. As opposed to winning games, Dodge and Carter battle to win the affections of a feisty journalist (Renee Zellweger). By the time this movie is projected onto a screen near you, it will have been delayed nearly six months. Trust me! If the name George Clooney appears in the credits and the movie was delayed about a half the year, there are likely major flags on the play!

April 4th

Shine A Light (Paramount Vantage)

I’m not sure what I think of the concert movie trend. Young girls and boys forced their parents into the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour movie. It grossed MILLIONS!! Ah, commerce! I get it. Then again, even rabid U2 fans resisted the urge to throw on those blue and red-paneled glasses for U2: 3D. At press time, that exercise in the bizarre has grossed just over six million dollars. The latest entry is Shine A Light, which features footage from The Rolling Stones’ A Bigger Bang tour. The Stones will likely outshine U2 because of one name. Yes, Oscar winner and legendary director Martin Scorsese filmed the project at New York City‘s Beacon Theater. Let’s just pray that we won’t have to look at Mick Jagger’s lips in 3D. I mean, I’ve seen Little Shop of Horrors once. I’m hauling ass if Mick opens those big flappers and screams, “Feed me, Seymour!”

April 11th

Prom Night (Sony Pictures)

Someone, quick! Pour a bucket of pig’s blood on me now! Yes, Carrie had more fun at her prom than Jamie Lee Curtis (as Prom Night’s Kim Hammond) had at hers. Kim got all gussied up for the big dance then had to watch her friends get systematically picked off by a psychopath. At least, Carrie got to set the gym on fire telepathically and bolt the doors closed with her eyes. I have a feeling that I’ll be wishing for similar powers of telepathy when I watch Brittany Snow (Hairspray, John Tucker Must Die) step into Curtis’ role. Look! Prom Night was a bust in 1980. In fact, I didn’t see it, ironically, until my own prom night in 1989. Yes, at my high school’s after-prom party, we didn’t run from deranged killers. We watched slasher films, Jell-O wrestled and played Black Jack for Monopoly money. Because today’s Hollywood screenwriters apparently can’t come up with their own ideas, they continue to rob from the existing canon of thrillers. But the remakes never work! Yes, I sat through the new versions of Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Fog, The Amityville Horror and Hitcher. I don’t find it mentally healthy to sit in a stadium seat and wish I was the horny teenager on the chopping block!

April 11th

Street Kings (Fox Searchlight)

In 2002, I reluctantly entered the movie theater to watch Dark Blue, Kurt Russell’s gritty, corrupt-cop drama set against the backdrop of the Rodney King beating. I left the theater just as reluctantly because I had been blown away. In fact, Dark Blue nearly made my Top Ten list that year and was easily an honorable mention. The film was penned by screenwriter David Ayer, who also scribed 2001’s gritty, corrupt-cop drama Training Day, which also blew me away. It’s David Ayer who makes Street Kings such an appealing prospect. Here, he directs and Keanu Reeves stars as Tom Ludlow, an LAPD officer who battles corruption within the force. I suppose that the suggestion of a corrupt LAPD officer is a cliché these days. We have Mark Fuhrman (of O.J. Simpson fame) to thank for that. But movies about them work. Russell was sensational in Dark Blue. Denzel Washington won an Oscar playing a corrupt LAPD narcotics detective in Training Day. David Ayer makes magic with this subject matter. For my money, he is the Street King!

April 25th

Baby Mama (Universal)

Bottom line here, gang! This could be a successful delivery or a back-alley abortion. Tina Fey stars as Kate Holbrook, a successful and single career woman who decides that her biological clock is just a couple of ticks away from the double-doors opening to reveal that squawking cuckoo bird! Yep! It’s time to put the career on hold and have a baby! Unfortunately, Myrtle isn’t very fertile. So, she hires a working class surrogate from South Philly (played by Amy Poehler), who eventually shows up at Kate’s doorstep with no place to live. Baby Mama is written and directed by Michael McCullers, the former Saturday Night Live scribe responsible for the Austin Powers franchise. Juno just tackled the surrogate mother storyline seamlessly and hilariously (see DVD reviews). It did so with a gifted, comic cast. Baby Mama doesn’t have that luxury. Fey CAN be funny. Poehler never has been. On the big screen, Amy Poehler’s Achilles heel is forever on display. She’s a sketch comedy actress who always looks like she’s floundering in an aimless SNL skit.